I just started writing this the other day…got through about 3/4 of a page before I stopped. Then, I think it was two days ago, I started writing again, and it ended up being a whole witnessing thing…or simply a Christian thing.

Here 'tis:

Why is life so hard sometimes?…

It's just so

up and down,

up and down,

in your face, off in the distance,

simply irregular. Random, if you will.

One minute I'm home sweet free, but come the next and there's something I forgot to do or something I'm in trouble for.

It's tough.

I think when they say "Life's a trip…" what they really mean is "Life's a 1,000-mile-trek through the elements across the arctic tundra…" That's what it all feels like sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away.

No more teachers giving me a bad grade because my work is 3 minutes late.

No more screaming parents.

No more obligations.

I'd have that wondrous feeling of being home sweet free. And it wouldn't even be the home sweet free I feel when school's over.

It'd be a truer, purer freedom…

Something you can't buy or even grasp, no, not something you could even wrap your mind around.

Something so beyond my reach it could only come from the One above.

But there’s also something holding me back, I know. It must be the simple sweet thought that,

after it all,

after I've exhausted all my strength,

all my energy,

all my time,

after I've gotten through by the skin of my teeth,

someday, sometime I'll lay eyes on that beautiful girl that I know is out there,

waiting……

waiting for me to take her hand, to run with her. And there it shall be in my reach. In my grasp, not slipping through my fingers like it did before.

Freedom. Freedom to live, laugh and love, purely and without restraint. Freedom to ‘sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world,’ if I desire to.

I shall be without chains and the that holds me back.

And this ever-shrinking prison I’ve created around myself will be no more.

I shall be wedded unto her. And she unto me.

We will become one.

One.

One love, one heart, one flesh. One mind with one purpose: to serve our mutual God, the One God. One God, yet three.

It’s hard to understand sometimes this idea, this concept. Sometimes I can’t comprehend the dual nature of my God and savior.

Human and divine.

It’s so abstract, so obscure to me sometimes, but I’m beginning to understand. Yes, I’m beginning to understand that, in order to live by Christ, honor him with my actions, and pray without ceasing, that these ‘dilemmas’ and ‘issues’ on my mind are just what God wants. He’s been showing me lately that I’m a broken wretch of a sinner and that I deserve no more than to live on the streets in misery, with the cold eating through the bare rags I call my ‘clothes.’

But there’s something else. There’s rain.

And I know rain’s a pretty common thing. I mean, even in a drought, it’s always coming. We just don’t know when. And sometimes when it does come, it storms. I remember being a kid and the fear I had of the power of storms.

But God is more.

He’s more powerful.

He’s more wonderful.

And he loves.

And he rains. With an ‘a-i.’

But when I talk about God’s rain, it’s the purifying kind.

It washes clean all the filth and sin that’s overtaken my life.

I love it when it rains.

But sometimes I need God’s rain, and he doesn’t provide it. I know now that these spiritual droughts are all part of His plan, too. He’s with us all the time, but every now and then, exactly when we need it, He draws back. He takes back His guiding hand and lets us stumble in the darkness, so His light will be all the brighter.

His fruit: all the sweeter.

It’s all okay, it’ll rain eventually. In the history of this ball we call ‘Earth’, there’s never, ever, never been an everlasting drought. The rain always comes and renews.

Just like God’s rain.

Always coming.

Always renewing.

And it’s something we can count on. Unlike man. You see, man’s got this whole ‘sin nature’ thing. We’re all born with it, and we die with it. But even though it’s in our nature, we can still feel bad about it. And we can still be redeemed. Reconciled.

That’s where Christ comes in.

Jesus.

‘Jesus H. Christ’ to some people. What does the ‘H’ stand for anyways?

I’ve been told it means ‘Hell’. Yeah, it’s ok for me to capitalize it, it’s a place. My sister went to Hell once, but it was somewhere in the Cayman Islands. But it’s also a pretty hot place, that some think is below us. I’m not sure where it is, but I sure as Hell don’t want to go there. It’s kind of ironic, too, that the ‘H’ stands for Hell. It’s ironic because Jesus went there. Not to the Cayman Islands. To the place some say is ‘below’. It’s sad to hear, but there’s good news, too:

He came back.

He went to the enemy’s base to do or die. He did. He did it.

He conquered and came back. A lot of people say He’s sitting ‘on the right hand of God the Father, Almighty’ I think that’s in the Bible somewhere, but regardless, He’s up there. He went back home to heaven. I know that’s hard to understand, with Him being God and all. How can He do all that if He’s God and the Holy Spirit, too? I know it takes a lot of faith, but that’s where our limitations come in.

We’re limited.

We’re not as amazing as we’d like to think. You see, we don’t have a lot of brains. We kill each other off, we betray each other, and we even kill ourselves off sometimes. How can we possibly try to think that we can fathom the mysteries of the Creator of the Universe? It’s something I don’t think I’ll find out, even in Heaven.

Since I’m going there someday.

And the point of all this is, you can too. I know it sounds crazy, and I’m sure you’ve done some stuff that you think is ‘unforgivable’ But again, (I love this part) there’s more good news. God doesn’t see your sin as murder, or disobedience, or stealing. He sees ‘sin’. And no sin is bigger than another. If you love your friend more than you love God, it’s just as bad as 3rd degree murder. So God will forgive the adulterer as soon as he would the idolizer.

So you’re forgiven. Now what?

Well, when you forgive someone, they gotta accept your forgiveness. And that’s all you gotta do. Just talk to God.

Tell Him your hopes.

Tell Him your dreams.

Tell Him you love Him and that’s you’re so thankful for His mercy.

Just have Him forgive you and have Jesus open the door to your heart. I promise that a life of righteousness and sometimes being made fun of is worth it. It’s worth having the privilege of serving Him and being His child. And everyone knows how incredibly, impossibly much a Father loves his child. His flesh and blood.

You’re God’s flesh and blood. Accept Him.

Have life.

Love.

 I know it totally needs some editing, I just don't have time…I'd love anyone's suggestions though…

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